BLOGGING IZ HARD

Remember when I said I’d try to blog weekly? Pretend like you don’t. Because I haven’t. (Granted, I have written a weekly column for MOVE Magazine, but that’s different.)

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This is personal. I should’ve been updating you all on the many endeavors I’ve gone on over the course of the semester and I haven’t. Too anyone that I may have upset, I apologize.

But here’s the deal. Living abroad is a lot. Like, a lot a lot. It’s exhausting. I know it’s not as if I have a 9-5 job and run a household (props to all those out there), but living in a huge and exciting place like London means that I have a limited amount of time to absorb it all.

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One of the many aspects of living in London that I didn’t expect is that sometimes, I just want to stay in. GASP. I have a massive city with endless possibilities at the tips of my fingers and I’m just sitting on my couch. In the dark. On my laptop. Boring, amirite?

WRONG. I (and multiple Buzzfeed quizzes) consider myself to be an ambivert. That is, neither an extravert or introvert, but a healthy dose of both. I love to be loud and silly and meet knew people, but I also gain energy from escaping it all and being alone. It depends on my mood, how tired I am, what I’ve been doing, if I’m reading a good book, etc.

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What I’ve noticed about my life in London is that the only time I’m ever “alone” is on public transport because no one talks and when I shower. While being surrounded by people is something I thoroughly enjoy, sometimes I need to get away and I just don’t get that in a city with millions of people.

So I spend a lot of my time here exhausted and in need of a break. Don’t get me wrong, I love to spend my weekends exploring the city and finding new, exciting places. But often times, I just want to come home and sit on the couch with my roomies and scour the internet for hours.

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Should I feel guilty about that? Because I do. I feel really guilty. I’ve spent so much (of the government’s) money to get here, and now that I’m here, I’m afraid to waste any time. I feel a constant nagging to be out there and exploring my temporary home, but I don’t exactly have the means nor the energy to do that every day.

I’ve noticed several of the others on my trip appear to have a lot more endurance than I, going above and beyond when it comes to living in London. They’ve been to numerous shows, restaurants, bars, clubs, events, attractions, etc. They’ve really gotten into living in London. But I, and my flatmates, are fans of the familiar and repetition. We have several hang out spots. We have a diner, a coffee shop and pub that we go to regularly, all of which I love. But I fear that we’ve been holding ourselves back and are missing out on something amazing.

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As of today, I have exactly one month until this adventure of a lifetime is over. I’ve already seen the changes in myself. I’ve grown as an individual. I ooze maturity now. (Slight exaggeration, but hey, I can survive in a city with eight million other people.)

That being said, please keep me accountable. I want to make the most out of this final month. Ask me how I’m doing (disclaimer: I might be too honest), tell me about cool places to visit if you’ve been here, encourage me to step outside myself, etc.

Please and thank you.

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With  love,

ellise

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